Some of the most common ways in which we might invalidate others include using undermining language, having judgmental attitudes, trying to fix another person’s problems when they just want to be heard, etc. Avoid using words like “but” by replacing them with “and” while also being mindful of your tone while conversing. Don’t exercise judgement and remember that you are not being asked for a solution, the other person simply wants their thoughts to be heard.
When someone invalidates you, it’s essential to establish clear boundaries, especially if the other person is close to you. If not, you may simply choose to end the conversation and cease contact. But if they are close, you’ll want to calmly use “I” statements to convey how the invalidation made you feel and set boundaries that establish how you want to be treated in the future.
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