Being in a relationship with a person who has a borderline personality means living a love-hate relationship that’s obsessive, complicated and unstable. Unfortunately, these kinds of relationships can be particularly difficult to escape from. However long the relationship has lasted, a relationship with a person who has BPD typically creates a destabilizing impact on the psyche of those who live with it, and leaves emotional wounds that are very difficult to heal.
Borderline Personality Disorder: The hidden faces of BPD that you need to spot. How to manage out of control emotions before they destroy your relationship By David Lawson PhD
Are you trapped in a toxic relationship? Have you been led to believe that it’s you who’s always wrong?
Are uncontrolled emotions isolating you and destroying everything they touch?
Are you afraid of what will happen if you decide to break out of your relationship?
Sadly, sometimes, these relationships produce more than just psychological wounds. Stalking, threats and physical violence are all possibilities when a person breaks up with someone who has a serious borderline personality disorder. Threats of suicide, self-harm or even revenge attempts are all common issues in such situations.
Sufferers of BPD live at the limit, they are acrobats in a precarious balance on a razor’s edge.
This book is essential reading if, in the last three months, a person that you are close to has been overwhelmed by:
Anxiety, depression and anger, often for reasons that others find difficult to understand or that they consider inconsequential.
Intense or uncontrollable emotional explosions.
Instability in interpersonal relationships and self-esteem.
Concerns about abandonment.
Desperate feelings of being misunderstood.
Feelings of powerlessness and despair.
Ideas about self-harm and/or suicide.
Doubts about themselves and their sanity.
A person who comes into close contact with a sufferer of BPD will, over time, be exposed to a variety of manipulative behaviours. Normally the BPD sufferer will use sophisticated manipulation techniques in order to decline even the most minor of life’s responsibilities. To put it briefly, as suggested by one of my readers, “BPD people put their entire lives in your hands and then blame you and punish you if something goes wrong.”
BPD is a black hole of attention and affection. Nothing can fill this void.
The person closest to the BPD victim can experience the following feelings that prevent that person from moving away from their BPD:
They will feel used and manipulated.
They will be forced to sacrifice their personal needs in a dedicated existence, devoted to the sufferer of BPD.
Concern about what will happen to the BPD sufferer if I leave.
How will the BPD sufferer react to a break up? Will they try to self-harm or commit suicide?
If I abandon the BPD sufferer, then ‘I am the bad person’ who has been selfish, and disregarded him, so what he says is true.
There are many other situations that are listed within this book. Knowing the right information allows you to limit the damage and avoid unnecessary suffering.
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