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• One useful conversational skill is chunking, where you vary the level of information you get coming back to you. This way, you can reach an agreement, acquire more and correct detail, or even persuade people to move from one plane of thought to another. Chunk up to gain a broader view everyone can agree on, and chunk down to find detail. Move from general to specific, keeping the other person’s reactions in mind.

• Use clean language to discover, explore and work with people’s metaphors without “contaminating” them. Listen for metaphors used, ask questions about them and continue the conversation using the same language and imagery to show your understanding.

• Use the HPM technique to always have something to say in conversations. Talk about history (a past experience) philosophy (your feelings on it) and a metaphor (describe both with a vivid metaphor). Keep is short, sweet and natural.

• Use signposting and transitional words to tell your listeners where your story is going. Signal what is coming and link your ideas logically using words that guide your listener’s understanding.

• Use conversational threading. Listen out for emotional hooks and pursue the conversation in that direction. Follow the most exciting or interesting leads and return to old, unexplored ones when conversation flags or ideas run out.

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Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

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