Change Yourself—And Only Yourself

Strong and clear boundaries will be one of your best defenses against people-pleasing and the people who would have you do so. However, they can’t exist solely in your head, and they can’t be so flexible that people see no reason to abide by them. Thus, you must define them based on your values, and then communicate them clearly and enforce them without exception.

The other major aspect is setting consequences and then enforcing them. This is what happens when someone attempts to violate your boundaries after you’ve communicated them. This is can be whatever you want; the only thing it cannot be is nothing. Failure to do so will create porous boundaries, which are as good as no boundaries at all. However, they also cannot be too rigid.

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