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Episode Transcript
In the first example above, Partner 2’s responses are inappropriate because they derail Partner 1’s legitimate emotions. Partner 2 doesn’t want to spend time focusing on Partner 1 for whatever reason—they just don’t want to deal with them. So Partner 2’s ill-mannered, terse, and mean reaction makes a bad situation worse.
But not all such responses are meant in a bad way—one can also, unsuspectingly, invalidate someone’s feelings with good intentions. Some of the more innocuous responses we give to someone’s emotional tumult can actually hurt them without us realizing what’s going on. This is most likely what most of us are doing when we think we’re validating; in fact, we’re making the situation worse.
Continue reading “(In)Validating Responses”